so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
