if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
