a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
