She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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