This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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