Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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