She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
