Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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