Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
