i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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