do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
