I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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