Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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