Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
