I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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