In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize