They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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