I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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