My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
