i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So apparently I’m into choking now
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