Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize