remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
