Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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