Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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