We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
