I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
