Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
