On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
