my phone needs a breathalizer
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
