Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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