so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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