put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize