Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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