who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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