I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
