Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
