Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
