A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
