The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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