Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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