The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize