The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
