is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
