dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
