If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You dont lie about slip and slides
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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