i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
