we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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