just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
