He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
