This is not my ceiling
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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