My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
