i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
