She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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